He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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