Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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