I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
