My balls are so social today.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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