I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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