I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
