Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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