I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
