Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
