I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
