thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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