Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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