And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
