He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
