Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
