He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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