Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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