So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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