I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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