I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
