Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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