I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she pinky promised me she was 18
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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