Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
