Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize