this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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