do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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