Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
