Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
