I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
