A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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