He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
