it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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