2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
