Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
