That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The best revenge is premature balding
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I need a beard to bite.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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