We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
