I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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