I'm gonna have a badass scar
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
