dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
