My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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