I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
