It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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