But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I party with great urgency now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
