We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
