Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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