New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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