hotel room ftw
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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