I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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