Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
is that a dick in a sweater?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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