This girl is more easily done than said...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
