So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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