escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
