that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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