Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
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When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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