i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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