Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
