I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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