So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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