Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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