i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I will be naked everywhere
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
