So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
