I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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