Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
