So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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