he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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